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Robert Burns: To A Haggis Written by Robert Burns Read by Alex Norton £0.99 (3 mins)

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At a Burns Night dinner, guests should normally stand to welcome the dinner's star attraction, which should be delivered on a silver platter by a procession comprising the chef, the piper and the person who will address the Haggis. A whisky-bearer should also arrive to ensure the toasts are well lubricated. During the procession, guests clap in time to the music until the Haggis reaches its destination at the table. The music stops and everyone is seated in anticipation of the address "To a Haggis". The honoured reader now seizes their moment of glory by offering a fluent and entertaining rendition of "To a Haggis". The reader should have his knife poised at the ready. On cue ("His knife see Rustic-labour dight"), he cuts the casing along its length, making sure to spill out some of the tasty gore within ("trenching its gushing entrails"). The recital ends with the reader raising the haggis in triumph during the final line "Gie her a haggis!", which the guests greet with rapturous applause.



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